Joanne acknowledges that she doesn’t prioritize her own needs enough. She will start to plan more time for herself.
Transcript
My social life is more and more and more restricted because of the change in her situation. It’s something I also do to myself because sometimes I don’t prioritize my own needs as well as I should. I tend to just keep going, going, going. I have a meditation class I go to, little things like that, but I tend to minimize my own needs for her, thinking more about her: “I should stay home because I’ve been at work.” She’s been alone, I feel guilty going out again, that kind of thing. There’s some that’s related to her, some of it that’s related to me, allowing myself to take care of myself.
I’ve made some changes. I can’t change who she is or how she thinks, so I decided that I would include myself in thinking about what’s important today or what’s the priority for this week. I’m in there too. If it’s important for me—going out for a long walk in the forest is, makes me feel fantastic— that’s a priority. It’s essential. It’s not a luxury and I don’t have to apologize, because sometimes when I tell my mom I’m going for a walk, “Oh, you’re so lucky. I can’t walk anymore”. I just don’t say, as I say, “I’m out, I’ll be back in an hour.” So, I stopped feeling twisted up about it. I just do it. There’s one course that I’m taking just for my own interest. So, I’m doing that. Those may sound like little things, but they’re big. They’re big because I’m thinking more in terms of what do I need?
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- Travelling, holidays and respite – Joanne (A)For Joanne, sending her mother to a respite program isn’t an option; her mother would not be able to cope.
- Home care and live-in caregivers – Joanne (A)Joanne’s mother has yet to receive any support; they are still on a waiting list.
- Caring for yourself – Joanne (A)Joanne acknowledges that she doesn’t prioritize her own needs enough. She will start to plan more time for herself.
- Impact on professional life and career – Joanne (A)Joanne needs flexible hours to check-in on her mother, which affects her career choices.
- Personal growth and transformation – Joanne (A)Joanne pushed herself and found her limits. She has learned to take better care of herself.
- Providing support – Joanne (A)While each task is reasonable on its own, it’s the accumulation of many small tasks that Joanne finds challenging.
- Advice for other caregivers – Joanne (A)Joanne compares caregiving to a locomotive that is pulling a train. You need fuel; otherwise the train stops.
- Advice for friends and family – Joanne (A)